How to Encourage Positivity Every Day
Negativity in my life
I am not going to lie, I can be quite a pessimist. I assume this somehow correlates with my mental health issues or vice versa but it is something that I am working to improve on every day. I have started taking the steps to become more positive and happier in my daily life and want to share my experiences with you, along with what I have learned so far.
I think we can all agree that we thrive off of positivity and want to be surrounded by it as much as we possibly can. Positivity is contagious and if we bask in it for long enough it fills us up too. However, this can be the same for negativity and this is harder to get away from whether it is in our thoughts, from people, or situations and circumstances around us. As part of my journey living a more fulfilling life I want to eradicate all the negativity from my life and replace with never ending positivity and I want to share the journey with you.
Negative people can be such a drain, I read something once quite a few years ago saying that friends are either radiators or drains. The Radiators bring warmth into your life and serve a purpose to you and your mental health, however a Drain is just sucking the energy out of you and not actually fulfilling anything for you. I can't remember where I read the article but it explains that we need to step away from the drains and surround ourselves in radiators (obviously whilst being a radiator ourselves - share the love). So if you have that one friend who always has a drama, always has something bad to say about someone or just brings you down you need to one of two things:
1. Talk to them about. Tell them that their negativity is bothering you; just be honest. This can be a tricky situation because a lot of times the Drains don't realise how negative they are being as they have just become accustomed to it. They might be offended about what you are saying so you have to be careful with your wording. However if they react poorly and once again make you feel bad about telling them then do you really want that person in your life anyway?
Otherwise you could make it into a kind of game. Tell them that you are on a Positivity Challenge and you can't be negative for a month and the friend might even get involved. Then maybe if you can both get into the habit of this, when the month is over just say something like "Hey, I really liked this challenge and feel so much better for it, I think we should quit negativity all together". If they agree then that's fantastic you have someone to join you on your journey to Positivity, if they think it's stupid or just carry on being negative then we go to number 2...
2. Cut. Them. Off. Now I know this sounds harsh but at the end of the day our Mental Health is one of the most important things we can look after and too much negativity is just so bad for us. If you have someone in your life that is just making you feel awful all the time they shouldn't be there. It doesn't have to be a bad ending to the relationship, just let it fizzle out or if you prefer to be honest then why not? Like a romantic relationship this can be hard but if you really care about yourself and your happiness then it's the best thing to do. This then frees up time to spend with super cool positive people who bring you joy.
Now, when it comes to family or your home life this can be a tricky one. I myself have lived in a very negative household where I just couldn't go a day without hearing grumbles or arguments and I can tell you it is draining. If you have lived in a similar situation then I am sure you understand. Most of the time if your parents are arguing at home there is little you can do to make them stop; sad but true. I would say it is worth having a chat with your family and explaining to them, you never know they may surprise you. Either way, inject your own positivity into your life as much as you can or make your bedroom a Negativity Free Zone. Always be in the knowledge that this won't be forever, focus on your goals to have your own home filled with joy.
Again, having your room as a negativity free space, but what if you can still hear the negativity and it is still brewing on the other side of your bedroom door. Use this to inspire your own life. Write down how you want your life to look if it is different from your current home life now. Envision a positive life and atmosphere and what that means to you. What do you think will make you feel more positive? Think of how you will feel once you are there and try to replicate that now so you can get into that mindset and create a bubble around you, don't let any negative vibes come in.
Negative thoughts are a different story all together. It is harder to have a chat with your thoughts and kick them out if they won't stop so it can make for a tricky transition. I am going to be 100% honest and say sometimes when good things happen to other people; people I love even I can add a negative thought. Now of course I am so happy for them but I can't help but look for the negative in the situation to make myself feel better. This is because it highlights what I see as my shortfalls when others succeed. I compare myself all the time and I know it is a big no-no and 'a thief of joy' and I am working on it I promise. But this is ridiculous to think of it like this because as the Mean Girl quote says "Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter". Their good news doesn't make you any better or worse off. Someone else's situation rarely directly effects us and our lifestyle so what is the need for this?
So now every time I hear good news, even when someone has acheived one of my dreams that I am still working towards I will completely push out the negativity and only think of how amazing it must be for them to acheive what they have.
So how have I been working on overcoming this and how can you?
For the first few weeks you won't stop the negative thoughts coming through, that is impossible. They will arrive but they don't have to be your final thought of the situation. In your mind write that negative thought on a piece of paper, screw it up and throw it in the bin. As long as we don't hold onto this thought we are going in the right direction. Now that thought has been binned we need to counteract it with a positive thought. So someone tells you they have just got a promotion; the thought you just threw out was "They can't be as hardworking as me, what makes them better than me?". Then replace this thought with "They must be killing it! I should get some inspiration from them to push myself". So we have replaced this with a praise for the person and also a nudge to ourselves on how we can turn this into a positive situation for ourselves. We can learn from this. Every action that happens around us should be an opportunity to be a lesson.
Now, never open that negative thought back up, if it starts to creep back then push it further into the bin and repeat the positive note, even elaborate the positive thought or reach out to the person and ask them about it, continuing a positive outlook on the situation. Eventually with all this training you will be able to stop the negative thoughts in their tracks and just think positively. It may take some time, and I'm sure you will relapse every now and again, like I still do but keep working on it and your positive vibes will overspill and shine through.
I hope you like these little tricks in bringing more joy to your life and you can find some inspiration for your every day. Are there any other tricks you have to be more positive, I would love to hear them.